Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish. This feature was created because we are particularly fond of lists here at The Broke and the Bookish. We'd love to share our lists with other bookish folks and would LOVE to see your top ten lists!  

This week is yet another gift related one which I'm not interested in so it's time for a change of topic. I had thought about a look back at best books this year or something but I already had that post prepared for posting later in this year so I had to think again! I wanted to do something fun so here we go:

Ten Things that make Chuckles a Christmas Scrooge!

1) Christmas Crowds: 
I HATE going to the shops in December. HATE IT! People having a chat in the supermarket aisles just have to block it with their trolleys don't they, and seem completely deaf to my screams of  'excuse me!!!' which soon turns to a version of 'feckin' shift!' If after that they ignore me, I grab the trolleys and give them as big a shove down the aisle as I can manage then pause to glare at idiot shopper who take a step back from glowering mad woman...

2) Christmas Music:
As soon as we hit December 1st every single shop decide to put on the same Christmas cd and play it over and over and over every hour for the whole month...ENOUGH ALREADY! I'm in a bad enough mood from idiot shoppers without having to deal with 'Mistletoe and Wine' for the fifth time that day! How the heck do the shop workers put up with that???

3) Christmas Shoppers:
What is it about December that sucks all manners and common sense from shoppers? They shove you out the way without apology, they come to a sudden halt to check their phone leaving you nowhere to go but crash into them and YOU are to blame? They hit you with bags, slam doors in your face, and make the whole experience as miserable as they can!

4) Christmas Panic Buys:
Listen people, the big shops will only be closed for something like two days, not two months so why are you panic buying enough for a small country? You don't need ten litres of milk and six loaves of bread to last you while the shops are closed!!! You can see that zombie look on their faces as they descend like locusts on the M&S food aisles! Get a grip would you???

5) Christmas Kisses:
Oh GAG! I hate it when the relatives you haven't seen for a year descend on you like love starved vampires for a Christmas or New Year kiss. Ugh. WHY? They don't bother with you most of the year anyway but NOW they want to smother you? I hated this as a kid and thankfully don't have to put up with it now. Keep your smoochies to yourself thank you! 

6) Christmas TV:
Yes here we go with the endless parade of every film that ever featured snow, the same ones that were on last year and the last twenty years. Whole channels devoted to the same films on satellite tv 24/7...jeez would it kill you to show something different? What about some nice horror films for those who hate soppy Christmas romances and Santa comedies? Thankfully I have the darts and cricket and a good dvd selection to watch...

7) Christmas Thugs:
As yes as soon as the snow arrives, every moron in the area feels the urge to pelt your windows with snowballs. Yes ha ha you're so funny, wish I had a dog with huge teeth to bite your ass and see if you find THAT as funny. You can spend Christmas unable to sit down, you thoughtless idiot.

8) Christmas Fireworks:
Well, New Year is worse. I'm in my bed trying to sleep and at midnight the explosions begin and go on for hours. Listen you budding arsonists, shut the hell up and let Chuckles get some sleep! Usually this is accompanied by the junkies in the next street starting fights and smashing things up and if we're very lucky we get the sirens in the distance. Yes Happy New Year to you too... 

9) Christmas Cats:
Is there anything worse that the neighbours cat continually using your garden as a personal toilet? Oh yes. It's when said cats come in and do their stuff while wearing a Christmas bow or similar festive thing on its collar. It makes me want to strangle the darn thing with tinsel and stick the pointy end of a Christmas tree up its bum.

10) Christmas Resolutions: 
I never see the point in waiting until December to announce all the great changes we will make to our lives that we never bothered to do in the whole of the previous year. Booky resolutions are different though...I am going to make one non booky resolution though-the first person to slam a door in my face next year will be subjected to an ear shattering bellow of 'HODOR!!!!!' Heh! Now that might be amusing...! 

NB: This post was written and scheduled for publication yesterday afternoon and has been modified to remove the Tony Montana gif and references which seemed disrespectable in the light of the terror attacks yesterday.

20 comments:

  1. There is only one Christmas album I like, and it is by the atheist and very cynical Thea Gilmore, heh. Almost all other Christmas music grates on my nerves, though some people have a song or two I like.

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    1. I basically become a hermit in December to avoid all of it! Gah, I had the music I really do. I actually do like some Christmas songs like Shakin' Stevens and Slade but when you hear it non stop for a month it's a bit much!

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  2. Lol!! Such a different post! I actually do like everything Christmas..While Christmas is not celebrated by all in India, I actually love the decorations in the shopping malls <3 But I agree about fireworks..Here in India, during Diwali people burst crackers and light fireworks like crazy ...It's FRIGGING ANNOYING when someone bursts crackers in the middle of the night.. Also I dunno about snow cause where i live we never have snowfall :( Great post!

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    1. I like looking at the Christmas lights and colours on TV but I don't have the patience to deal with it in real life now-too many people, too much noise. I have sympathy for you during Diwali. I watch a lot of cricket and sometimes they show the festivals and culture of the countries England are playing which is fun. The festival where everyone throws the coloured powder at each other could be fun as a tourist!

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  3. Cassius now wants a Christmas cat under the tree - haha. I ADORE your list and I'm even more convinced we are truly a lot alike. The crowds, the thugs, the budding arsonists. I was having a rough morning before I read this and you DEFINITELY brightened it up. This is classic.

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    1. I thought I'd do something fun for a change! I was going to put a joke pic up for Cass but every one seems to be under copyright!

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  4. People put christmas bows on their cats though? Poor cats, haha.

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    1. Yes people can do strange things around the holiday season. If I was a cat my owner would not get the chance to do it-I'd claw them to pieces first!

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  5. Lol, I love your list!! Christmas crowds are the absolute worst and my #1 pet peeve from Thanksgiving through the end of the year... Thank goodness for the invention of the internet, because I stay away from the malls for 6 weeks and order gifts online. Christmas music is another pet peeve and it seems like they start playing it earlier and earlier each year.

    Here's my TTT post for this week: http://captivatedreader.blogspot.com/2016/12/top-ten-tuesday-ten-books-i-wouldnt.html

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    1. That's why I love Amazon! You can get pretty much everything you're looking for at decent prices AND they deliver it to you! What's not to love! My supermarket is only a five minute drive so I'm there when it opens to avoid crowds and that keeps me sane...

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  6. OMG, I am so with you on ALL of these.

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    1. I really am a Grumpy Chuckles at this time of year but I do love winter to get my reading kickstarted!

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  7. Ha ha, I like your theme! Totally agree on the shopping and the last-minute rush and the endless Xmas movies! But wishing you a merry Christmas despite all of the above!

    Lisa @ Bookshelf Fantasies

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    1. Thanks Lisa and a Merry Christmas to you too! I'm ok if I don't have to see people during the festive times...LOL!

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  8. Ha Christmas music. I love it (at first) but yeah, how do the shopkeepers stand it? Seems like their ears would bleed after a while... and yeah people stopping in the middle of an aisle and doing shit on their phone. You say "excuse me" and they don't move! That is maddening to say the least!

    "love starved vampires" lol.

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    1. People on their phones knocking me over is something that drives me crazy...there could be a whole blog rant on that one later...Yes I'd be wary of those older relatives cooing all over you with kisses...when did you last see them in sunlight eh...?

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  9. There's a reason why I do all my Christmas shopping online - I don't do well in large crowds either :) My husband is really into the Christmas music and TV though, so I have had to learn to live with that.

    ~Mogsy @ BiblioSanctum

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    1. I just love the Internet. It lets me be as anti-social as I want to be with less stress! Oh dear, Mr Mogsy would not do so well at my house!

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  10. Yep, I totally get these! :)

    Check out my TTT and my current giveaways.

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    1. Tis the season to be grumpy...! *sings badly*

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