Vampire thief Raylene
Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is
already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind
vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex-Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene
still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre
set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy
sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way. But Raylene’s
biggest problem is that the death of Ian’s vaunted patriarch appears to
have made him the next target of some blood-sucking sociopaths.
Now
Raylene must snatch up the potent relics, solve a murder, and keep Ian
safe—all while fending off a psychotic sorceress. But at least she won’t
be alone. A girl could do a lot worse for a partner than an ass-kicking
drag queen—right?
My Review:
Having loved book one I was so much looking forward to
reading, what is at the moment, the final book in the series but I was
very disappointed with it on all levels.
Horace wants to hire
Raylene to steal some items that he stumbled upon and doesn't want to
pay the seller for. Supernatural penis bones. Yes the bones from
unmentionable parts of things like werewolves which can be used for
spellcasting. The rest of the discussion between the two results in
continued cringeworthy penis jokes every few lines and this got old
really fast. I was not greatly amused by the constant 'funny' quips
about dick sticks and other ridiculous combinations. I felt as if the
characters had been turned into giggling ten year old boys thinking up
new dirty words. The whole thing was childish and not entertaining.
So
Raylene goes to find the stupid things but is beaten to it by the
mentally deranged Elizabeth who attempts to use lightning to kill
Raylene as she escapes the building. Cue more phone exchanges with
Horace about the penis bones before Raylene and Adrian take a road trip
to find Elizabeth. She was fired for lying about her mental health and
is now out to kill her ex-boss with a tornado while he is inside a
building with hundreds of other people. Raylene decides to steal the
bones, let Elizabeth kill everyone and then helps her to escape.
Seriously Raylene? You think it's ok for her to kill lots of people
because he has a grudge against the guy who fired her? I wasn't very
impressed with that at all. And we never do find out if the boss dies in
the disaster!
Meanwhile Ian's brother Max is trying to track him
down to kill him because Max wants to control the Vampire House and Ian
is the current heir to it. On the road trip they visit Max to make a
deal. She'll get Ian to phone his brother, she'll represent Max in an
investigation at another Vampire House where their father was murdered
as a visitor and Adrian gets to poke around that House where his sister
used to live. The visit to the House is weird, and the deranged vampire
family are like the undead Brady Bunch on drugs. The whole scenario was
very confused and I felt as if the author wasn't exactly sure where she
wanted to take this after Raylene got there.
Those two plots
were the whole story of the book and it was just really dull. The second
plot for me was just there to resolve the issue of Adrian's missing
sister but it was clumsy and not greatly interesting. Ian is reduced to
the role of babysitter to the street kids who is not permitted to get
involved in anything. He's blind, not incapable! Elizabeth is not a
great character yet suddenly she is added to the household despite
having tried to kill Raylene twice. Adrian is reduced to nothing more
than assistant pretending to be a ghoul and for Raylene to fight with.
He is often dispatched to explore or hang out with ghouls while Raylene
does the investigating which is a waste of his talents.
Everything
that made the first book great was lacking here. The group dynamic of
them all working together is gone with Ian missing from most of it,
stuck at home as babysitter and teacher. His relationship with Raylene
has gone from interesting to awkward and unconvincing. The street kids
play with the new cat and mouth off but contribute little else. The
humour goes from snarky to juvenile with the endless penis jokes that
grated on my last nerve. And the fast paced action is reduced to a limp
road trip that does little to excite or interest.
I just feel
deflated. I wanted to love this but finishing it was starting to feel
more like a chore and the author and characters are much better than the
final product delivered here. It leaves me wondering whether I would
risk reading on if a third novel was self published. Not sure.
Read March 2017.
2.5 stars
