Welcome
to Chuckles With Chuckles, a semi-regular look at
stuff that amuses me. We are starting with dumb answers given on TV quiz
shows. I might not know all the answers but I certainly know the
answers that are wrong!
Q) What is another name for cherrypickers or cheesemongers?
A) Homosexuals
(answer is British Army Regiments)
Q) On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
A) Er...
Q) He makes bread.
A) Er...
Q) He makes cakes.
A) Kipling Street?
Q) Where do you think Cambridge University is?
A) Geography isn't my strong point.
Q) There's a clue in the title.
A) Leicester.
Q) Who had a worldwide hit with "It's A Wonderful World"?
A) I don't know.
Q) I'll give you a couple of clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
A) Contestant: Arm.
Q) Correct. And if you're not weak, you're ...?
A) Contestant: Strong.
Q) Correct: And what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
A) Contestant: Louis.
Q) Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song "It's A Wonderful World"?
A) Frank Sinatra?
Q) What is the capital of Italy?
A) France.
Q) France is another country. Try again.
A) Oh, um, Benidorm.
Q) Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
A) Sorry, I don't know.
Q) Just guess a country then.
A) Paris.
Q) On what day does new year's day fall?
A) The 31st.
Q) In which direction do the hands of a clock travel?
A) Anti-clockwise.
Q) We're looking for an occupation beginning with "T"
A) Doctor.
Q) No, it’s "T". "T" for Tommy. "T" for Tango.
A) Oh right... (pause)... Doctor.
Q) Which Danish city is famous for its statue of a mermaid?
A: Denmark.
Q) You step in it and it takes you up and down to different floors.
A) Dog poo?
Q) Who did Britain go to war with over the Falklands?
A) Er...
Q) It's a South American country.
A) Iran?
Q) Which Cluedo character has a military rank?
A: Colonel Sanders
Q) Who sang the song Je t'aime, moi non plus with Jane Birkin?
A) Two contestants (given a choice of three answers): Jacques Chirac.
Q) The Berlin Wall was demolished in which country?
A) Er...
Q) East and West came together...
A) Er...
Q) It begins with a "G".
A) Er...
Q) No, I can't give you that one.
Q) Who was Bill Clinton's vice president?
A) I don't know.
Q) Come on, he also stood for president himself. You know, Al...
A) Al Jolson.
Q) What is the correct name for the Australian wild dog?
A) The dingbat.
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.