Sunday, 10 January 2016

Book Review: Zombie Apocalypse Now! by Rachel Tsoumbakos

Four women find themselves in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. Each from different backgrounds and locations, they somehow manage to find each other.

ROSALYN has recently lost her husband and we discover her in the opening scenes, having to defend her house against a zombie child. She has spent the first part of the zombie apocalypse holed up in the roof cavity of her house with a stockpile of food and nothing but diverted rainwater to drink. She may be quiet, but she sure is resilient!

BERTA: Say hello to the last surviving crazy cat lady of the apocalypse! Stuck in her home with only her cat, Martin, for company, Berta plots an escape. She plans to rescue Mrs. Chin from across the street also.

It's a shame nothing goes according to plan...

PIPPA: It's not the best time to be bringing a baby into the world, but somehow she is determined to survive childbirth and the zombie apocalypse. While searching for food, she comes across a zombie in a bank, They get to know each other through the bullet-proof glass.

It’s all fun and games until the zombie realises someone left the door open though...

TATIANA: She's your hooker with a heart of gold. Chain smoking, stiletto wearing and still taking customers...


My Review:
This book should have been renamed Zombie Apocalypse Now: Dumb Bitches volume one because frankly, the women featured here have the brains and survival skills of planks of wood.

Rosalyn-Has a zombie outside her house yet decides to start dragging chairs across the kitchen floor and rattling cupboard doors, pots and pans, regardless of what it might attract just as she is trying to escape.

Berta-Berta and Mrs Chin are nearly out of food and planning to escape yet for some reason, with only one zombie in the area, decide to wait two days. And of course the arrival of the world's dumbest man outside creates the perfect diversion which they don't decide to take advantage of and it all goes pear shaped.

Pippa-The pregnant ballerina seems sensible. Left alone by her missing husband, she is trying to stock her flat up on essentials before she is too big to safely leave the house. Then for some strange reason she gets bored in the house and wanders off to the bank and starts communicating with a zombie behind a glass door. Pippa decides to try and get the zombie's attention for some reason by licking the glass and asks the zombie if she is ok when she falls down. The dumb bitch then realises that there is an open door that the zombie can use to get her. Jeez, what a stupis skank!

Tatiana-The hooker who is so thick that she goes to answer the door, thinking it is a client, then remembers there is a zombie apocalypse on. Her zombie visitor is still able to say 'tits' though. *rolls eyes* She is going to raid the chemist for hair dye because her roots are showing and some ciggies, and can't leave until she puts on her lippy. Of course! That's what's important in the apocalypse coz you never know when a zombie might want servicing.

That was more than enough for me. Hopefully they all die.
 
star rating photo: 1 star orange-1star.jpg

4 comments:

  1. This sounds dreadful and that cover...just no.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah it was pretty bad! I was wary of it because of the ! in the title and I was right!

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  2. lol. Brains of planks of wood. Love that! Sorry that it didn't work for you.

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