Friday, 5 September 2014

Film Review: Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012)

While the Civil War rages on, President Abraham Lincoln must undertake an even more daunting task - destroying the Confederate Undead. Abe decides to sneak out of the White House to go to a remote outpost to take on zombies with a small group of handpicked soldiers. 
Filmography links and data courtesy of IMDb.

When I first saw the release of this film, I knew it was going to be a small, cheap imitation of the bigger budget Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. That didn't bother me as any film can be great or crap but you won't know until you try it. Sadly, as soon as I put this film on, I knew I had made a mistake. This was poor on a spectacular scale. And I normally love zombies.

Lets start with the acting. Bill Oberst Jr did a good imitation of Lincoln but the rest of the acting was really bad. It felt like a cheap stage play at times with actors stepping forward to deliver a line in a dramatic, over the top manner, then stepping back into the chorus line for the rest of the film. Watching a soldier step forward to say to Abe something along the lines of 'I will follow you to the gates of hell' was totally cringeworthy and tells you how bad the script was. Fifteen minutes in, I was shaking my head at how bad this was. The worst thing was turning Stonewall Jackson into a total asshat that you wanted to feed to the zombies.

Now we get to the plot. The very concept of Abe battling zombies is of course unrealistic but that kind of wild story or re-imagining history doesn't bother me if it delivers. We had Abe leaving the White House during the Civil War to take a group of soldiers to a fort to kill zombies. Presidents do not do that so immediately I had an issue with the plot but again, it can be forgiven if it is a good film. This wasn't. Abe doesn't explain to his soldiers what they are fighting or how to kill them so when they meet the zombies in the first two attacks, the soldiers think they are dealing with civilians and end up being bitten. No commander would have been so reckless as to not talk to his men about what they are dealing with. Then we have the stupidity of Abe needing to secure this fort-and as soon as he does, he decides they need to leave again. So what was the point of that? 

The zombies themselves were running around like idiots in the most unconvincing manner ever-watching normal people do these zombie walks looked scarier!Then when the fort was surrounded by zombies and Abe wants out, yes the zombies all fell asleep in broad daylight, allowing Abe's men to leave. Oh come on! That was pretty much the final straw for me. And when on this adventure they just happen to take refuge in the house of Abe's ex girlfriend, I switched the film off. 

Bad zombies, bad acting, terrible plot and script. Giving this one star is generous.
star rating photo: 1 star orange-1star.jpg


  1. Hey Chuckles, thank you for the nice word there. Lincoln was a boyhood hero of mine, and I wanted to play him straight and do him justice, even in a zombie film. Getting to speak a bit of The Gettysburg Address onscreen was pretty great for a history geek like me. Thank you for the review.

    very best regards,

    Bill Oberst Jr.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to leave a messsage-it was quite a surprise! I can imagine it being exciting to get the chance to play your hero and I feel you did him justice. Had you been given more to work with in terms of script etc my review would have been nicer! Thanks again for your kind words.