Sunday, 11 May 2014

Book Review: Fat Vampire by Johnny B Truant

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a thousand-year-old vampire.

And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.

Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

My Review:
Reginald is fat, bored and being bullied at work. When he finally makes friends with the goth kid on night shift Maurice, hope springs. Until vampires attack Reginald and Maurice breaks the rules by turning him. Now Reginald has to deal with being a slow and fat vampire instead.

So when Maurice is approached on a bowling night out with Reginald by a group of vampires he knows, Reginald becomes the meal and Maurice has to turn him to stop him from dying. Reginald's hopes of being a cool vampire fade instantly when he realises that he will be forever fat and unfit, with little in the way of physical powers. It becomes a huge problem when he tries to hunt his food. Outrun by female joggers and cane wielding pensioners("What's wrong with you, you sicko?"), Reginald then fails miserably when hunting a teenage boy.

"I own the night!"
"Dude, you don't own shit. You should own a treadmill."

Having a ten year old True Blood fan called Claire feel sorry for him and Todd being there for part of the night shift is the final straw. Reginald feels as if he is the worst vampire ever, and their ruling body agrees with him, summoning him and Maurice to a 'meeting' which is really a trial. Should Reginald fail to impress, he will be given to sunlight, along with everyone he knows and cares about being killed, putting Claire and new friend Nikki in danger too. Can Reginald win over his doubters?

I really enjoyed this book and it was great to see an overweight character as the hero for a change. Reginald's life is pretty dull and being picked on my the perfect looking idiots that work with him at the fitness company is something that many people can relate to. The snide comments, the practical jokes, the sniggers. He's a likeable guy and I just wanted to see him get his own back on Todd and his cronies.

The side characters in this book were really good. Maurice dresses like a goth so he can target goth kids as easy meals, and only bites men or he'd feel as if he was cheating on his wife. Claire is a lonely child with only the dvd player for company while her mother lies in bed drunk when not working. Nikki is a wannabe vampire who tries to show Reginald that he is worth saving. This book has real emotional depth dealing with the tough parts of our characters lives, as well as plenty of great humour. The story flows nicely and I liked the whole plot, making me want to read the rest of the series.

Favourite scenes? Loved the attempts at feeding off people at the river. I enjoyed the action at the trial and I especially loved the ending!

Recommended to vampire fans, fans of underdog stories and those who want a funny paranormal read. You can get this book FREE on Smashwords and Amazon so why not give it a try?
star rating photo: Four Star Rating 4stars.png


  1. I have to go check, but I'm pretty sure I have this and it got lost in the huge TBR. I need to go dig it out! :)

    1. That's the problem with big tbrs and tons of stuff on an areader...trying to remember everything you have! This was one of the first books I downloaded to my Kobo so it's only taken me 9 months to get to it!

  2. The title alone made me laugh. I've wondered before about the lack of fat vampires. Seriously. And the lack of fat zombies. Glad to hear you enjoyed this so much!

    1. It's good to get that fun read once in a while! Poor Reginald, I really felt for him! And yep, I've wondered about fat vampires as well. There were a few on Buffy I think but nowhere else that I can see...